Shadows

I didn’t mean to step away for so long; I was exploring my shadows. I explored every shadow I could find, which took a little longer than I had imagined.

I used to fear the dark until I realized I was the light. I just had to remember how to turn the light on so that the light could be with me wherever I went. Sometimes, we have to take risks and jump into the unknown to experience some of the most magical moments on the other side of what often feels like pits of despair. With every storm we survive, we come out on the other side a little more banged up, but how we look at those bruises will depend on how much light we have found within. With more light, we continue to see and connect with more things, the little things in life, for which we feel grateful. The most recent lesson I learned was to focus on who runs into my storms when they hit. I used to focus so much on all the things that were causing me pain. Not just while it was happening but long gone after it was over. Looking back, I couldn’t see the light most of the time because there was already so much heavy, thick, dark fog.

It was clouding my senses. Anything that added to the fog made me feel like I was suffocating, and I couldn’t see who or what was right in front of me, attempting to be the light I needed. I kept focusing on the past because I couldn't understand it. I felt like I needed to make sense of it if I was ever going to make sense of myself. Diving into the depths, where the shadows seem to be the coldest and darkest, was my last ditch effort at living a life that felt like it had a purpose.

The fog was really that thick.

Over the last few years, as the fog has slowly been becoming clearer and lifting, I have realized that although I struggled to see the light people were offering, they became anchors for me whether I knew it in the moment or not. Or, in the case of the fog, they became the next part of the rope I was holding onto and following in order not to become completely lost.

I’m not scared of the dark. You, too, have light within that most likely needs just a little spark to get it blazing again. If you think you need more than a little spark to get your fire burning again, imagine that there are light sources all around you, attempting to connect with the light you hold within.

Think about a cloudy day wherever you live. How beautiful and mighty are those moments when just one ray of light from the sun pierces its way through the once-dark cloud? It feels as if the Earth comes to life just as much as we feel inside in that moment, regardless of how brief it may be. Now imagine many more moments like that, sometimes back-to-back. Imagine what life might feel like with more moments like this. Now imagine the sun is the person standing next to you. With their authenticity and unconditional love, they shine a light through the dark fog that has engulfed your heart so that you come back to life, even for a brief moment. Symbols of our inner workings, life lessons, and ways to connect, understand, and communicate are all around us.

If you fear the dark, let someone be a light for you.

I have returned from exploring my shadows, and I have a lot of exciting stories to tell! While there is always plenty more to explore and make sense of, I have learned some valuable lessons. I can’t wait to come back week after week to share a new story with all of you.

With all the lessons I have learned from the experiences and stories my shadows told, it makes me wonder… what would your shadows say?   

Sending Love and Light,

Casey